Ok, I'm Good Now.

Yes, I'm good now... Since my vow to not give a shit, life is becoming peachy once again. Not caring is such a freeing experience. And after talking to a few co-workers and getting the inside scoop, not going to lie, Gossip!! Love it!! I realize I am not the only one that is fed up and somehow that makes me feel soooo much better. And the fact that I've been super lucky the last few days with my 'numbers' it's looking like my month won't be so bad.

Funny thing. This Sunday is the day I get to meet our owner for the first time, and have dinner with him, the general manager, and all my co-workers, that includes my manager..... Not sure if I will relax and have a good time or if a few choice comments will slip out... we will see how I'm feeling... should I keep calm and carry on... OR should I raise some touchy issues that need to be touched on.....
Honestly, right now, I would choose Plan B...... but I might change my mind by then... it's kind of exciting :)

What do you think I should do??

work, really?

I'm having issues with my job. Or maybe just my boss.... and a co-worker... I don't remember having selling issues at any of my other salons. So I'm not sure if it's me or if it's the job. The pressure to sell sell sell is way too high. Not sure why they care so much. We get 100% profit from doing services. and no where near that % on products. So why the anger??? Why would you want to threaten jobs??? There is not that much money in product selling.
I tried doing this new thing at work, where I would document all my clients/cuts/and product recommendations. And I did worse this month than I have in the last year. Could it be stress?? the pressure?? or just the boss lady saying what a shitty job we are all doing CONSTANTLY! She keeps saying that we should 'prove her wrong'. I am sorry, I do not work that way. If I improve, I damn well hear a GOOD JOB! Otherwise, If I hear, 'not good enough' over and over, GUESS WHAT? I'm not going to try AT ALL. That is the way I work. You tell me I'm shit, than that is all you will get out of me. I'm done trying. I'm done. If you wanna cut my hours, PLEASE DO!!! If you want to fire me, PLEASE TRY! I'm pretty sure all my documents will get me unemployment. Otherwise, just leave me alone. seriously.

And the co-worker part. she just gives me attitude constantly. and she goes against the rules, constantly. and she is loud and annoying. and that is all.

living like we're poor

So with my goal of being a full time stay at home mom still out of reach, I am trying to spend less. Which is very very hard for me. Before we had kids, I worked more, and it was mostly disposable income. Now that my little one is here, and I work less, my shopping habits have to go. So hard!!! It's not like I live at the mall, quite the opposite, I hardly ever buy anything from the mall besides a fruit smoothie. Goodwill, Thrift shops, and garage sales are my favorite. And now I have friends who make things at home that I occasionally buy. Either way, the money is just not there. Not sure if its the Organic Vegan diet that is more expensive than the cheap shit most people eat. Or is it the insane amount of doctor bills from the two times we have gone to the doctor this year??? Either way, it has sucked our money supply dry. Not sure where this will end up. Just another new thing to learn in life.

Summer!!

What a crazy summer I've had. I took a vacation from blogging. My little girl and I have been anything but bored. I had signed her up for lots of classes such as 'Nature Nuts', 'Little Green Thumbs', 'Jungle Tales', and 'Metamorphosis Monday' at the Garfield Park Conservatory as well as 'Story Time Craft' and 'Toddler Painting' at the Greenwood Community Center. We also took a hand full of 'Story Time Yoga' classes at Peaceful Heart Yoga Studio in Franklin and Lowe's Build and Grow on Saturdays. I can't forget VBS!! Not only did Wednesday enjoy a week of Vacation Bible School, I also taught the age group for 7-9 year olds. That was one busy week! I also babysat my best friends 7 year old that week... I was so tired by that friday. Oh, and I worked 4 nights that week. I can't lie, I was so bitchy for days from the lack of sleep...
So, besides all those classes we still took time to have numerous play dates, trips to the pool, and the zoo. We also took numerous trips to my home town for some much needed relaxation and family time. Love my grandparents. They are the best for sure.

 My cousin Jake, My brother Lodden, and Wednesday

 Love these picture.

 Butterflies!

It's hard to believe that my little girl will be back in preschool in less than 2 weeks! It seems like such a short summer vacation for her, but I know she had a ton of fun. I will be looking forward to some nice 'Mommy Alone Time' every Tuesday and Thursday mornings. And I will be signing her up for a dance class on Wednesdays this fall.

Farmer's Market

Saturday morning. I wake up, throw random clothes on, and I'm off to the farmer's market. Rain or shine. Today was rain but that doesn't stop me. Today was very exciting because they had produce. Some of our farmer's have greenhouses and so they had some great stuff. Here's what I picked out: 

 Cherry tomatoes out of a greenhouse, I also bought a big tomato as well.

 Potatoes

 cabbage, cucumbers and home made preserves, blueberry and cherry.

 Home made bread

 These lilies were only 50 cents a stem!

 Trying out some of the blueberry preserves.

She gave it a thumbs up.

Can't wait to see what they have for us next week:)

Engagement Pary Ideas

So as the Maid of Honor, I am helping with the engagement party. She wants it to be themed 'Love'. So here are some ideas I've been looking at. Let's see if she likes any of them. It's a month away, we need a jump on it.

 Cupcakes seem to be a must for these things. That seemed about the most popular refreshment at engagement parties.

And the decorations, so many types and colors to choose from....

Don't these photos just make you smile?! Well, we still have a ways to go. Hopefully we can stay in budget.

Maid of Honor

I am so stoked! My best friend is getting married and has asked me to be the Maid of Honor. I have been to weddings before, but I never had one myself (we eloped) and I have never been in one. So I am super excited. We went to the dress store today to get ideas. She is leaning towards the purple hues, which I am just loving. Her ideas are great, and it is all very exciting. Here a few of the ideas that the bride as thought up...

White wedding dress with purple on it somewhere, little black dresses for the brides maids with purple sashes/ bows, and the flower girl with some sort of purple dress. I'm thinking that I will be posting more about this, mainly because I'm so excited.

My Little Gardener

I signed Wednesday up for a ton of classes this summer. Today was the first one, Little Green Thumbs. It takes place at the Garfield Park Conservatory. Only $4 a class. They meet once a month for three months. My grandmother found this apron that used to be mine when I was a kid and gave it to me over the weekend. I was super stoked to put it on Wednesday for this. It's fits her perfect right now too.

For the first class, they got to glue a seed onto a piece of paper, then were asked to draw what they thought the seed would grow into.

Then they were read a story about planting a seed and watering it, and seeing it grow, and eating the veggies that grew. After that, we all headed to the garden to start working on our garden. They were all given cards with pictures of veggies on them, and they were instructed to find the matching plant. Wednesday's first plant was a bell pepper plant.

First she dug her hole, then she put the plant in the hole and covered it with dirt. Sounds easy till you try to explain to a 3 year old how to do it. I swear that she doesn't hear me most of the time. I must say, she did very well on the first plant.

So once that was done, she ran around a bit, then we moved onto an eggplant. She wasn't as interested to plant it so I did most of the work on that one.

After the eggplant they were given radish seeds. We poked holes in the soil and dropped one seed in each hole. She seems to like the meticulous job.

Her favourite part was next, watering! What kid doesn't love playing with water. They were each given watering cans and told to water everything they had planted.

After all was done, she was done too. Just ran around like a 3 year old looking for trouble. We will go back in one month to see what has grown. All in all it was a pretty cool class.

Last Day

It has come.... The last day of freedom I would say. I'm not 100% positive that this will turn out completely awful, but I am about 88% sure it will. Not that I'm wishing bad luck on myself. I'm just saying. People don't usually change, and if they do, not in a years time. My heart is in my stomach. My stress is slowly rising like it is going on the high hill of a roller coaster. My adrenaline is sitting on the sidelines waiting for the 'ok' to come in. My husband and I are not quite on the same page at this point which is very bad. With a child you have to be on the same page. This house is a loving environment, and I feel like its about to be taken over by manipulation, rage, mistrust, demand, deceit, insult, intrusiveness, resistance, and just plain HATEFULNESS. Would you want all of those things in you home??? Your home is your refuge from all of those things. So why welcome it??

Some may say, 'She just needs love and support'.  My response: We gave her that for 3 years. We did everything for that little girl. And no, I will not go into details, because what we have done for her is a list to long to type. Something is wrong with her. We try to explain in as few words as possible to people and they just don't hear it. Wether it is because they don't want to believe us or they can't believe us. They think we are exaggerating or whatever, they JUST DON'T GET IT. Until that child lives in your house for an extended period of time, you just don't understand. For example, my mother-in-law has had her for a month, and we have received phone calls every night, and at one point she actually said, "I didn't believe you". REALLY???  NO!.........  So now she understands. Do not blame the parents for the child until you know the story. Because sooner or later, she will be in YOUR house and no one will take her away.

So, just something to think about. I have to go make sure all my valuables are behind lock and key, and anything breakable is not in arms reach. I'm afraid my stomach will stay in knots for a while. I anticipate spending a lot of time at the gym and/or friends houses, or anywhere but here. Lord, help me.

 

Black flowers for a black kind of day.

To Do List...

Today is starting wonderfully. I've been desperately trying to keep my sanity as the next week comes and goes. We are having my teenage step-daughter come live with us. For most of you, you know that this is the last thing I want. It's one of those 'Been There, Done That, Never Ever Want To Do It Again' type of things. My boss was nice enough to give me the next two weeks off (except Saturday) to give me time to prepare. My grandparents are driving 2 1/2 hours as I write to help me out.

Main things on the list are:

1. Install a lock on the guest bedroom closet, I have it as my tiny craft room and I am not undoing it! and that is that! 
2. Moving most everything out of the guest room, empty the bookshelf, take all decor off the walls, and empty the dresser. 
3. Install locks on overhead bins in garage, for any valuables or whatever. 
4. Install a lock on doors of the master bedroom and bathroom. 
5. Make sure all valuables are put in rooms with locks. 
6. Install a towel rack in guest bathroom.
7. Clean everything.
8. Make sure tv in guest bedroom is working and usable.
9. Install an extra lock for back sliding door.
10. And last but not least, PRAY.

Thank the Lord my grandparents are coming to help. I cannot even express to anyone in words how I am feeling. But I know that once all of those things are accomplished, I will feel a lot safer in my own home. Maybe I'm just OCD about my things, and I know I am. But there is something awful about feeling unsafe in your own home.  And if everyone could just say a prayer about this situation, please do! I would really appreciate it!!

Relay for Life 2011

I participated in Relay for Life this year. I had heard about it before but never really knew what it was about. What it does is basically raise money for the American Cancer Society. They do that by hosting a 24 hour event that helps people to celebrate those who have survived cancer and remember the ones who have lost their battle to cancer. Pretty much a 24 hour cry festival with games and snacks.

I have had the privilege of getting to know a little cancer survivor, Graham. As a baby, Graham was diagnosed with cancer and in turn had his eye removed. He is a survivor.

I didn't hear about this event early enough to do as much as I would have liked. I was able to use money from doing hair to go towards it. Next year we have big plans. It's very exciting to think about how much we could have accomplished if given enough time. Such a great event. I feel very accomplished from my weekend none-the-less.

My good friend Liz, Graham's Mom, and Cancer Advocate.

Me and Wednesday

 There were thousands of Lumineers and each one had the name of someone who has had cancer, In memory of one lost, and in honor of one surviving.

Imagine them lighting this, talking about cancer and playing Sarah Mclauchlan's 'Angel' and tell me you wouldn't cry!!

So for everyone who knows someone, or has lost someone to cancer, this blog is for you! Can't tell you how awful it is to loose someone that way.